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My Dad Is Disappointed in Me

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Does he show you disdain and rebukes you for not acing your exams just the way he wanted? Is your mother silent? Why is he so disappointed? He thought you would follow in his stead, but only an older brother made it so far, just not you. You do not measure up, that is what he claims.

Talk to him

You have tried to explain you always do your best but you cannot appease him the least, he constantly grumbles and disparages you for not measuring up to his elevated levels. Can you be his match? That depends on who he is. Sometimes he is indeed someone burly whose sheer presence makes you pay your respects for him. Or he is a frustrated soldier who heaped and invested all his life expectations in you as his outer channel that absorbs his frustration. You are seen as his extension and your own failures confirm he is a failure. Or he is just a typical bully whose shadow will hang low over your life unless you finally dash away and lead your life in peace.

When no talk or pleas have made any difference, you need to develop inordinate patience when dealing with the guy. Your love for him could protect you from engaging in quarrels and any fighting, but the older you get, get wiser and more mature in your ways. Tell him you can’t make his life better by sacrificing your own and that you are happy (just first prove it to yourself) by being average or just good. Not good enough? Who actually cares? Unfortunately, that fatherly voice is going to be heard throughout your life and he knows it. He could be truly convinced, however, that he is doing a great job by being overly critical and uncompromising in his perfectionist approach, but that is uncalled for. It is like your perfection means so much to him than his love for you.

You are great the way you are

Some people are like this, overly demanding for no reason, while the reason is generated within their minds, after years and years of existence, down to the their own childhood demands and feelings of inadequacy. If it is the case, you should know that you are not going to help him overcome his own worries and your life is yours to live. You cannot serve as his life replacement. After any success you accomplish there will be a neverending appetite for more that you cannot satisfy. Save yourself and find true meaning in things you love and enjoy.

Feel his pain

Feel sorry for your old fart who wants you to achieve the impossible. Seen from his perspective, life should always be a one tracked path of 100% success and little more. No bumpy rides allowed. Understand this and become free to prove yourself. There is nothing to prove to anyone or yourself. You just need to find your own spot in this world. That’s enough of a challenge.

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